Baby and toddler group is supposed to be fun, so why do I feel like I’m back at school again!!
Me and BG went to baby and toddler group on Friday as usual, this group is quite new only been going a few months and I have been there from the very first day. Now even though its quite new cliques have formed quite quickly including the wannabe Yummy Mummy’s and I’m not one of them!
Anyway this week the group was taken over my Musical Mini’s I’m sure you can guess what’s involved. Me and BG had a great time, she really likes music and me singing so it was right up our alley. BG may be the youngest in the group but I’m sure she had the most fun!
Now these Wannabe Yummy Mummy’s are all designer gear and no substance, they obviously come to have a gossip and let the kids run around , which is fair play . Well they were not happy that they had to get involved , when we all sat around on the floor with our children ready for the first activity they all had faces like bulldogs licking piss off a thistle!! I however found this quite amusing!!
The problem I have with these women is that they are just not friendly, BG is the youngest there most of the time and the toddlers like to come and look at the baby which I don’t mind, their mum’s are normally right behind them to make sure they are not to rough. Now one of the reasons I don’t mind as it normally gives me a chance to chat to the other mums, these Wannabe’s don’t even smile back they just grab their kids and turn away!!! They are just so rude!! I am obviously not good enough to talk too or even warrant a smile. It just reminds me of being at school and not being one of the popular girls, I’m half expecting them to start pointing and laughing because I don’t have the right changing bag!
Seriously its like being a teenager again and god knows that wasn’t fun the first time round! I’m an intelligent woman, I have a degree for f***ks sake why do I let this get to me?? I think its because I thought as adults things would have changed and it wouldn’t matter what you wore or where you lived. That making friends would be easier but I was wrong!
I will however carry on going, I’m starting to make friends and BG seems to enjoy it and will carry on smiling and saying hello to the Wannabes because I’m a friendly person and I would hate them to feel the way I do.
NM x
Persevere, you'll find other mums who feel the same. I'd rather have a few close mum friends than loads of shallow ones. Resist the temptation to be friends with other woman just because they have kids as you will end up spending a lot of time with people you don't really care for.
ReplyDeleteTry not to let other people get you down - although rude and unfriendly people are truly my pet hate so I understand your feelings! But as mediocre mum says - you'll find people you get on with and then the other rude Mums will just have themselves to be rude to!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your ladies It is getting better and I'm making more friends. x
ReplyDeleteI know exactly where you're coming from. I hate M&T groups, as they always seem full of people who just aren't on my wavelength. The only thing I have in common with them is stretchmarks!
ReplyDeleteHowever I truly believe that everyone feels insecure inside and 'cliques' form out of this insecurity, i.e. you meet someone you like then stick to them like glue and don't let anyone else in - a case of 'I'll alright Jack'. So I think it takes a real confidence to stick it out, going along on your own every week. Don't ever let them make you feel bad though - what goes around comes around and you'll be the one smiling in the end because you've got a good heart x
It was the same when i when to a new mum and baby group and it was full of 'cliques' i was seen as the young mum and no one spoke to me.
ReplyDeletei stopped going when one women came up to me and said 'your baby is a bit young for this group perhaps you should try another' ok milly was only 5months old but it was advertised as 0-3. Some mums forget what going to groups are all about. hope it gets better for you x
Oh I know the feeling. I agree, just ignore those who behave like that and stay open minded for anyone else. I went to lots of groups while on mat leave, and where I least expected it, I found a lovely group which 2 years and to some extent second baby on, are still meeting regularly. We've become real friends. Hope you'll find the right people too!
ReplyDeleteI hated school for these reasons, it feels unfair to have to do it all again! My boy is 17m old now, and with the perseverence of talking to ANYONE, I've found a group of lovely mum friends. It helped when I started going to a "sling" group, as lots of mums thought I was weird for using a sling, but when I went to sling group, I found people that did lots of the same things that I was doing with my baby! It was lovely to know I wasn't on my own. Pregnant again, I've started going to an antenatal swimming group, and there are a group of ignorant "cool" girls there. They deserve to be ignored by eveyone! I seek out mums that look lonely on purpose, and chat to them, like the 18 year old who looks terrified to be pregnant at all. If anyone needs a friendly chat, it's her!
ReplyDeleteThank you everyone for the advice x
ReplyDeleteI hear you!!! Believe me I used to live in the heart (rather the outskirts) of nappy valley, tofu weaving, organic planet motherhood land BUT I did make a few friends. Now with baba #3 I just think "sod it"! You trust your instinct and you'll be doing a good job!!
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