Tuesday, 10 August 2010

What A Difference A Year Makes

This post was originally written for Breaking The Silence, a blog for dedicated to speaking up about mental illness. 

When I wrote this I had never written about my depression before and found it really liberating, I found Breaking The Silence a safe haven to write about my illness. I've realised that its good to talk about it and let other know they are not alone. 

I thought I'd share my story here as this is my blog and my story so I give you What A Difference a Year Makes. 

I DIDN'T realise how hard this post was going to be to write when I started it.

I’m not ashamed of suffering with depression but it’s not something I shout about either. I’ve had "blah" days (sometimes weeks or months) for as long as I can remember.

I think they started in my early teens but I can’t really be sure.

I would lock myself away in my room reading or listening to music and hide away from the world, people just thought I was being a typical teenager and left me to it.

As I got older I learnt to cope with my "blah" days and often no-one would notice, they would pass and life would go on. In July 2006 I was on top of the world, I had just finished five years of studying and had been promoted at work.

But just a year later I was signed off work with stress and depression and was taking antidepressants and sleeping pills. What a difference a year makes.

Work had become increasingly more stressful and it was becoming evident I was not experienced enough for the role I had been given, I had asked for support but it wasn’t given.

I was working 14 hours a day and I started to have problems sleeping, I felt completely drained and very very low. The lowest point for me was my 27th birthday,

I had a few days off from work, my other half took me out for a day of shopping and lunch I was miserable the whole day. I felt sick and had a feeling of dread in my stomach, that night I broke down in tears at the thought of having to go back to work the next day.

I rang in sick the next day and they day after and the day after. I went to see the doctor, who said I was suffering with stress related depression and her prescribed me antidepressants and some sleeping tablets.

He also signed me off work for two weeks and a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. This was the first time I had ever been to see anyone about my depression and it felt good. I had 10 weeks off and work and to be honest I never returned, my manager’s idea of supporting me was to constantly ring me to see when I was coming back and an over to demote me to a department I had no experience in.

The best thing for me to do was leave. It took some time but eventually the depression lifted and I came off the pills and I haven’t had to take them since.

I still have "blah" days. Me and my daughter stay in and have a p-j day.

My 'other half' understands I have down days and is there to support me when I need it.

I do find it hard to talk about my depression, I hid it from family for ages until I left my job and had to let them know what was going on, they were really supportive and made me feel at ease about what I was going through.

Today is a good day.

Please visit Breaking The Silence to read the other amazing stories.

Thank you Linda for letting me tell my story. 


  1. You are so brave lovely and an amazing person for it. Lots of Love xxx And what a great site and idea Breaking The Silence is x

  2. Well done for posting. Seems like you're dealing with it very well, so well done you!

  3. Thanks for sharing your story and letting others know that it isn't wrong to feel like this.

  4. I have suffered with depression since I was a teen also, and lately it has been back in full swing. I hated being on medication but they did help me cope and I got help through my school with counselling, mostly to help with my anger cos I began hitting people who tried to bully either myself or my friends.
    I suggest to anyone who is suffering to speak up and see a doctor, don't suffer in silence!


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