Wednesday 26 May 2010

5 Reasons I'm Going To Hell

Jehovah Witnesses came to my door today, I was very polite to them and thanked them for calling but I wasn’t religious so goodbye. They wouldn’t leave so I explained that I had studied Jehovah in the past (I actually have) and I don’t believe in god myself. I was then told is I didn’t believe in god I was against him and would perish when the time came, basically I’m going to hell.

I was still very polite said goodbye and shut the door, then laughed to myself. You see me and OH often joke we’re going to hell, not because we’re evil (well not all the time) but because we have a really bad sense of humour and laugh at really inappropriate things.

If there is a Hell here are 5 reasons I’d be going there:-

  1. I sky +Comic Relief and Children In Need so I can forward past the clips of children in Africa etc and before sky + I would change the channel
  2. We only watch the Winter Olympics in hopes that someone will fall, trip or slip. If there are no accidents then it’s not worth watching.  The ones when they all crash are the best.
  3. When BG was really small we would make up songs to sooth her, one is called “BG smells of poo”
  4. I laugh too loud when people fall over in the street or walk into things, even better if they walk into something then fall down.
  5. I avoid charity collectors in the street; I’m really good at ignoring them

There are more reasons but I fear you would never look at me in the same way again ;)



  1. yep - theres no doubt we're family!! There is video footage of me singing to cameron "my little alien" + "cameron is a digimon" - - they were the more polite ones and as for the other things yep - definitely family!!!

  2. That really made me smile. Thanks. :0)

  3. Ha ha, great post. I am convinced I'm going to hell also and like you, can't possibly tell some of the things I laugh at behind closed doors for fear of being hated by people!

  4. I love this!

    At least we'll be in good company huh? I'd rather be were all my friends are anyway ;)

  5. number 1 is genius - never thought of doing that!

  6. Brilliant! Hey, at least we'll all be warm! lol.
    Sal. X

  7. I love this. So funny. I'm sure we will all be there. :) xx

  8. Ha! I look forward to joining you. I have developed a great tactic for avoiding charity workers involving looking very cross while pushing the buggy at great speed. Works a treat! :)

  9. I'm going to hell as well! I once laughed when a blind person, white stick and all, walked into an overhanging branch.

  10. I think hell is going to be a damned busy place!
    Can I come for sometimes telling the Big Issue man I already have a copy in my bag?!

  11. Don't people hide behind the sofa anymore when a JW knocks on the door? I should imagine there's a few who aren't very snow white themselves!

    CJ xx

  12. When I open the door to JW's, I say we're satanists.

    When people fall over in the street, I laugh wayyy too loudly too. I'm so evil, I laughed at a man on a mobile scooter the other day. Mainly because he was being a bit of a knob to passers by and got his wheel stuck in the pavement. It was hilarious.


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